flow

Back In My Camp

 For me, emotional overwhelm is like a blocked drain.

Creativity is my 'Dyno-Rod'

This is how I deal with emotional stagnancy.

This is my Flow.

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~ Poem ~

Back in My Camp

*

Delicate me

In my belief

I am but a peasant

Doubt is my chief

*

Fragile I was

There on my ground

Wide eyed and rattled

Trying not to fall down

*

As in from the sea

Came you in your boat

Raging with me

And barely afloat

*

Now back in my camp

I still cannot speak

This worry, this helpless

I carry with me

Mile High Art - My Journalling Travel Kit

IMG_0295 OK... I have reached a point of no return.

I want... I NEEEEEED to stay close to my beloved journalling practice.

Wherever I go... So must she. (Yes, my practice is a 'she'... don't ask, I don't know...it just is...ok?! OK

I LOVE how mobile art journalling is. There is nowhere it can't be done!

PLUS, flying is ok... but after a couple of hours my arse starts fighting with my back for comfort (sorry, it's the only way I know how to describe it!) and I can't seem to please both... so, a 7 hour flight is, well... just a pain in the... you get it.

What I have found though is that being able to 'get in my zone' during flight, or ANY time I'm experiencing discomfort, physical or emotional... Art Journalling has some magical effect, it always sees me through. Ok... enough gushing... here's the goods.

In the tin pencil case:

Charcoal, Pastels, Eraser and Sharpener. The white 'blob' is candle wax... I had no crayons one day and wanted a resist. I ALWAYS have candles in the house. Problem? Solved.

In the fabric pencil case: 

A Selection of colouring pencils.

Marking Tools: A rubber band... A foam brush... Bubble wrap... sewing and 'grooming' kits (mini nail file = sandpaper), courtesy of the hotel the night before flying. (I am a magpie, everything is fodder... Keep your eyes open) ps... I used the cotton pads, dry to dab/stamp white paint on my pages... loved the effect.

Travel sized hand wipes

Glue stick

Assortment of my fav gel pens (the white one is Sharpie white tip...the best imo. Uniballs are excellent)

Journals: 

I had with me 2 altered passports... Yes... I was travelling with my own and 2 'borrowed' ones belong to 2 different people (I like to live on the edge)

A really  small blank notebook, now journal

An altered book

I have been using each of these as sidekicks... so each journal already had backgrounds...

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A Watercolour paint and pencil set 

In a second, smaller ziplock bag:

(because it's liquids and you must keep them separately and under 4oz when flying)

Travel size container of water

Titanium white

Hair clip / tie... so you can see what you're doing!

Ephemera:

Wax paper

I helped myself to images from the in flight magazine, then I placed it back in the seat pocket....classy.

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I hope that was helpful to you if you're travelling soon and want to take your journalling practice with you.

One thing I didn't think of was to bring something to protect the seat tray table...and my clothes, which I both destroyed.

I boarded all sophisticated and deplaned like a hobo...lmao. I love being an artist!

Safe travels!

Always, Amanda xoxoxo

 

Why birds don't get angry! What I learned from our feathered friends

Have you ever listened to birds call and respond each other? An ancient species, with 150 million years of existence to their credit, birds know how to survive, why? Because no bird call goes unanswered, if it does, the bird dies. We are not meant to live this life unheard, unable to call and unable to respond. It's not natural.

I just saw this image in my Facebook feed and it sparked a reminder to a time when I spent my days drinking poison, because I was unable to call, unable to respond.

I spent long enough in this state to really taste the bitterness of unresolved anger.

The root of this anger for me, lay in poor communication skills. Once resolved, I discovered how not angry, but passionate a person I am, some would call it spirited, I often find myself propelled by pure emotion.

Emotion = Energy - in - motion

The way I understand it now, is that when we encounter new situations, our energy shifts and creates a disequilibrium in our being. Our sense of what to do with this disturbance depends on the fundamental relationship you have with yourself. The nature of that relationship is most accessible to you when in a stressed state. In the past, under stress I always had a disconcerting feeling of wrongness.

At it's most basic level, we are always measuring our being against a sense of right and wrong. Right = I'm ok / Wrong = I'm not ok.

How do you feel under stress when you believe you're ok? Passionate.

How do feel under stress when you believe you're no ok? Angry.

When I'm under stress now, I recognise it as disequilibrium, that's all. I'm aware that what I'm encountering is something I don't have a call or response for, yet... and so I become a pupil of the birdsong. I open myself to learning through call and response. I realise my stressed state is the place where I can learn the most. I may never have the answer, but at least I can send out a call... It will be answered.

The origins of self 

Your sense of self as right or wrong is informed by an accumulation of past experiences and an evaluation system that most often has been internalised from some other source, usually the culture of the day.

In our culture, Irish catholic... the culture of the day was reserved obedience. This was enforced with the tactics of shame, fear and oppression. 'Children should be seen and not heard'. We were born to original sin; our being was wrong and it was our job to make it right.

Excuse me, but fuck that. The damage this has done!

Assumed power is a dangerous thing 

There was a time I felt powerless, completely. Mostly because I couldn't seem to make my being right. There are times I still do feel powerless, but I no longer feel it completely and I no longer feel it in relation to my being. I've taken back my power, I found a way for my being to feel right. I found a way to call, to respond and I've learned how to listen for the calls and responses of others.

But it is not my desire to dominate with my call or to see any response as an oracle of truth, it is purely to communicate, to keep moving, because to move is to survive.

My power lies in this ability. To call and to respond. To express and process experiences with others, so that I may stay close to me, to others, to spirit, to love. I know what it's like to not be able to express myself. It sucks...

This is my message to you - ooh - ooh

How do you see yourself in the world? Are you ok? Why? Because someone else says so? Same goes for the alternative, are you not ok because someone else dictates it? Fuck that. Take back your power. YOU ARE OK... you will be ok, always. You have a right to be seen AND heard.

For me now, it's simply ok to be me, as I am, as I was and as I will be. That way I'll always be ok... even when circumstances may not.

Anger too, is an ok place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there!

So what about you? Have you found your bird call?

Always, Amanda xx