'Love is all' ~ That's what I was told
'I am unloveable' ~ That's what I believed
'I was wrong' ~ That's what I discovered
Since beginning this blog, and since creating Daisy Jane, I have been trying to find my voice.
Why am I here? What am I doing? Who is Daisy Jane? What does she stand for and what does she have to say?
Over the weekend I was reflecting again on these questions and it came to me.
Daisy Jane is 'Loveable me'. She represents the discovery in my life of what it means to not just be loved, but to believe I am worthy of love.
In my life I have struggled to believe this, to believe in my love-worthiness.
It is the reason for many heartbreaks, many tears, many hurts and many decisions that only served to reinforce the horrible belief that I was unloveable.
I was born into love, I grew up guided by love. I was raised with a love compass, the way to my heart was clearly signposted... I knew all about it, that it was the greatest human experience. In fact, love's status was so great, it was painful to know of it's existence while also believing I lacked the worthiness of it.
This conflict led me down some dark and lonely alleys.. and in an attempt to redeem myself and re-charter my course, it led me to a settle for a someone who, although I knew couldn't love me the way I needed to be loved, I couldn't love enough for him to hurt me beyond repair when the inevitable would be confirmed. Again. And it was...
I'll save the rest of the story for another day, but I just wanted to write this now, because of this post I just read. In it, Jeff Goins explains why learning to tell your story is the most important thing you can do as a writer. He gives a very short exercise that led me to identify, in three sentences, what I'm all about. I have to say... to narrow it down like this feels really good.
Don't worry... it ends well :)
If you had to write your story in 3 sentences, what would they be? I'd love to hear it!
Always, Amanda <3