Well, I'm here. On a website. That I built myself (with a lot of encouragement and chat support!) And it's a bit mad. I have a shop! I have orders in... hello?
It's intriguing, what you can manifest in your life when compulsion takes hold. There's nothing else to it, that's how stuff happens. It starts with a vision, in my case, awakened. And for the past 18 months, I've been nothing but compelled to follow it.
As I was importing my blog over from wordpress into this site, I came across this video I made last year, around Christmas time. In it, I was reflecting on the year that was 2014, the year I began shedding long standing inhibitions around my identifying as an artist.
It's affirming to see development. Sometimes I'm so caught up in the moments, especially the moments of frustration.. I forget to remember the bigger picture. The beginning, the journey, the learning, the progress.
So, if you ever find yourself calling yourself names, exasperated, wondering why you bother, remember this: discovering something you can't do, is actually progress. Before you became aware of your obstacle, you didn't even know it was there. See this 'thing you can't do?' that means you're already on step 2 in the learning process. Ok?
My inner artist had been left waiting a long long time before I gave her a chance. She had been shoved to the back of the 'who I'm going to be' queue. Never for a second did it occur to me that the back of the queue was the place to where I had relegated my most natural and content self.
And what's more...she waited! For 20 years, she waited in line until her turn came. That's surely an indication of spirit. Determined, resolved... to not only survive, but thrive.
We've a lot of growing still to do, my artist and me...but we're rockin the curve! Here's to learning <3
Always, Amanda xoxoxo