"You have too much time on your hands" ~ The Critic
This is a statement I have heard more than once coming from people when I'm talking to them about music and creativity, matters of the heart and other immaterial things in life.
The thing is...
I’ve realised I only ever hear this statement when I’m lighting up.
Here's what I have to say about that...
If those words have come out of your mouth, you have failed to see the light in me. Your internalised, critical and therefore judgemental self is blinding your capacity to experience connection to others and worse still, your connection to SELF.
Perhaps it’s hard for you to see me light up, perhaps to witness light in others is painful. So, instead, you would rather douse me with sand, water, foam…Anything to stop it from shining out of me. Anything to make it go away.
But here's what I understand. It's only natural to want to stop the discomfort of being confronted with a loss deep down of having had extinguished in you, the light in your own heart and soul.
So instead of me trying to convince you of the value of how I spend my time, let me instead ask you this....
What happened your light?
I want to know. I want to know if you remember what it was like to have one, because you did. Where is it gone? Who took it away from you? Who taught you, modelled for you, that to ‘spend time’ on or with something for no other reason than it brings you joy, was frivolous, a waste of time?
Who did that? What has that been like? How has it impacted on your life? I invite you to really think about that.
Who taught you, that you were not allowed to tend to your light?
Who told you, you were not allowed to shine for shining’s sake? Who told you the only way to be of value in this world, was to spend time in ways that could be measured and approved of in terms of the accumulation of material things? How did things work out for them?
And further still... who told you, you could sneer at mine? Is that what happened you?
I'm willing to bet, that without even uttering the words, somebody managed to convey a message to you that said
“My dear, whatever you do, make sure in life you have something you can point to and say… Over here!! LOOK!! Look what I exchanged for my time!!”
I’m not saying it’s not admirable, to work hard enough to be able to afford some luxuries in life. I don’t have a boat, a holiday home, I don’t even have a house I own! I don’t have much really, but I have my light. And if a bank or a tow truck or a hurricane or a fire ever comes to my door… They will come and go but I will still have my light.
Why? Because of the time I INVEST in fanning it’s flames. What will you have? What will bring you comfort when it all goes tits up?
Don’t ever tell me the time I invest is in vain. Don’t ever tell me it’s any less noble an investment than yours. And don’t ever tell me I have too much of it.
I have the same amount of time as you. How I chose to spend it, is the only difference between us.
So please, get this into your head… if you are ever in the position to respond to someone who is speaking from the part of them that is alight, don’t ever tell them they have ‘too much time on their hands'. Because what you are really saying is “I make better choices than you”. What you’re saying is “I am better than you” when we all know that’s not true.
And I’m no better than you.
And if you are the one who's light is being dampened...please remember this too. Do not retreat. Do not hide. Stay close to your light and find others who will not only see it, but will celebrate it with you.
We're all in this boat together and whoever led you to believe otherwise, missed their chance to experience true connection.
~ Don’t let that happen to you ~
And if I haven't said enough to convince you, watch this little girl, tending to her light.
Let's be like her...